Friday, December 19, 2008 ' 5:05 AM
peek-a-boo!!!
it's been some time since i last blogged.
time for some updates from me about my very boring life.
nothing exciting, nothing interesting, nothing very much actually.
it must have been PMS. i've been feeling either blue or black or grey.
my favourite colours yellow, orange, green fade away into the background of black emerges above all.
been hiding well and keeping myself to just myself very well.
for the first time in 2 decades i've learnt how to keep certain feelings just to myself, not showing, not saying, not sharing. i came to learn that not everything can be shared? and not everyone can just understand how you feel and think.... not that i want to keep things to just myseld and feel the ups and downs within myself, but i thought it would be good if it's sealed forever, unspoken, unforgotten...
i forgot to blogged about this previously. this year's borthday was splendid. i had different groups of celebrations, each a surprise. particularly surprised me was a phone call from someone so unpredictable.
'hello, may i speak to ms. joyce please?'
'yes, speaking. this is?'
'hi, i'm calling from starhub, tmr is your birthday right?'
'ermmmm.. ya.... and....?'
'we're giving you a voucher for you to upgrade your handset.'
(puzzled!!!)
'BUT I'M NOT A STARHUB USER!!'
' i know~ hahahahahahaha~'
that laughter came, sending a feeling sooooo familiar, soooo near yet sooooo soooooo far. i knew immediately who it was. he also assumed i knew who he was, even though i really did know who he is.
andrew.
what a surprise. but somehow i appreciated that very much. he never did forget my birthday and never failed to wish me every year. sometimes, thinking bad, how could we have go on for 4 good years with such huge upas and downs, and leaving each other puzzled about our feelings for each other. hahahaha. how young we were. not knowing what exactly what love is, what a relationship really means. but of course, he's someone who REALLY did know me well... and i guess he still did.. and i'm glad we kept our friendship going. and we also did conclude we were much better off as friends....
and then i thought i should reflect, and sometimes i think.... many a times, probably a couple should just remain as very good friends so there are lesser conflicts? lesser pains?
说着让人伤心的话你还是温柔
忽然感觉一切都是如此的荒谬
当夜色慢慢落成一片漆黑在你背后
当我说出你最想要的分手
你也有你的好对我来说却不够
而我的青春不该只是等着你回头
做你的情人
不如做你最好的朋友
最后给你的爱是你想要的自由
爱的代价 有苦有乐 这一次啊
对爱有多些了解
虽然要把苦与痛都忘记 要经过好久
我不怪不愿你
爱也曾经美丽
爱的代价 我付出了
放你去吧 对爱又多些了解
一定有个人会在这世界
只为我等候
看天空是那么宽
不再低着头的我要往前走
isn't it true? so true.
actually, i really don't mind being single and happy, rather than being coupled up and feel the kind of pains i see people face and deal with every single day. paranoia overwhelms me.
oh... on a lighter note... there are so many things i wanna do and learn!!!
i'm gonna start my degree really soon. hurray!!!
i'm going to sign up these courses one by one:
sign language
basic knitting
malay language
let's all live life to the fullest while we can!! :)
i wanna watch twilight!!!!
edward, here we come!
♥dedicated compassion and loves.
