and i graduated from np.
and i made so many lovely friends.
and i had so much wonderful memories.
and i'm starting to feel sad because i will miss canteen 1 and its food.
and im starting to miss the sushi bar.
and the umbrella area...
and the underpass...
and those days and nights we camp in school just to complete projects...
and and and... im just going to miss everything about np.

through this whole journey, i'm grateful to have wonderful mates with me, through thick and thin, from knowing them to loving them to wanting the friendships to last forever... presenting some of the people i am never going to miss out in my life, those i've met in np, and will swear never to forget...

- the toes (erika, camen, jasmine, cheryl and samsam)
- serve cambodia' 2005 peeps (everyone!)
- touch cambodia' 2006 (esp sister yeo ah kee, sister samantha, sister sua!!!)
- angeline, wenting, jasmine
- ibsm'2007
- baoc'2006 (my freshies, the SBs)
- ba camp'2005
- joyce dearie
- actually, the list goes on to many many others whom i will surely miss......

there are some really strong bonds i've made through this years, and they are people whom i don get to see often or meet often, but we know... somehow we know.. the friendship stays.
kudos to all my lovely np mates. good luck for all future endeavours, and may the meories stay on and on (:

many many pictures to be up soon! keep updated!

moshi moshi!
it's a new week, and i must say that i had a lovely weekend.
great hang outs, great dinners, great chills and great meeting new people. saturday we met up for a chill and we met alot of new friends whom we did had fun with. games, drinks, laughters, singings. i quite like that, some sort of tuning off from the usual world.
dunno if anyone had nice pictures of that night but it's ok even without cos the fun had been imprinted in my mind.

anyway, i started the week off well. there was not much on a monday blues, but instead i had a drive, some kind of motivation from the inner self to work hard in my profession.
watched the charity show that was shown on sunday night with regards to the sze chuan earthquake, it made me cry. every incident shown, every word the wirness, helpers and victims said brought me through traumas of heartache and grief.
it makes me reflect on what am i doing? how minimal am i doing to help with catastrophic calamities. how much can we help with the donations? is it reallt donations that can help them? they lose things that money can NEVER buy back, loved ones that will NEVER come back, and treasured memories that will remain sound with them. what kind of traumas have they been going through, and how much emotional support do they need?
it makes me feel so small. it makes me feel helpless. helpless because there's just so little that we can do for them.it pains me to even think that lives can NEVER be the same for them anymore.
to the lost ones: be safe, be sound and you are blessed with the rest of the everlasting moments.
to the living ones: you are blessed with blessings the lost ones would give forever.
with peace, i wish for ever blessings for the people of szechuan.

it just makes me wan to extend that little amount of human touch i have, to the people i meet everyday. i wan to live for the passion i have in me. to reach out to lives, and touch lives. though it might be tough for us to constantly give the touch but we try.
it's not difficult to touch lives, for a smile, a gentle touch can give someone a better day.
it's more difficult to reach out to lives, but we try. just the little passion for an extra mile can make a big difference for someone's life. and if a few mins for an extra mile in our lives can bring an extra smile for someone in our life, even for a second, it makes our lives worthwhile.
and just that extra mile would make our lives a little more satisfying.

it also brings me to a point where i thought that we shoould never take people for granted. we can be taken for granted, don't be upset. think of it as though we took time to reach and touch someone's life eve if we may not be appreciated. how much can we try to appreciate the ones around us before it's too late?

i ever thought i might have took the wrong career path but now i'm more than sure that i'm never going to give up this passion, this ever-strong drive and motivation to improve people's quality of lives. bringing hope, bringing love, showing compassion and be kind to people.
what would make me smile at the end of each day is the thought that every minute i work, i do it out of love and passion. (:

heal the world with our small hands and big hearts.

while my daily life requires me to show endless care&empathy, who can spare a second just for me?
just for ME? :(

some pictures we took on sunday...
the chilling pics at balcony is with dearest kailin, so shall wait for her to send first. hee...
lovely.

i had loads of fun on sunday.
LOADS.
lovely scenery at sentosa with wonderful people whom we drink,chat,sun-tan,play and giggle with. one whole afternoon seeped into the loves of the sun, sea, sand and most importantly, my dearest people.
next up we had a yummy-licious delicious fablous dinner together, something that was absolutely delicious but CHEAP!!! (:
and then, i had a bonus! we went for movie, ALTOGETHER. my original proposal was just to have sentosa, dinner and chill. WHO KNOWS THESE LOVELY PEOPLE ARE SO LOVING THEY ALL AGREED TO HAVE MOVIE FIRST THEN CHILL? tell me who's the best? you all are the best! hahaha!
and we watched the 11pm show at cineleisure, 'accuracy of death'.
what should i say about the show?? i think only yingtao and i felt the show was absolutely sweet, and it was nicely put together to show avery artistic and sweeeeeet love story. tao xiang and kai lin didn't fall asleep, but they thought it was just a very good show, not exactly a sweet love story. but this literature movie made out tired friends qiuyan, lao da and yeong sen FELL ASLEEP. hahahaha! comical! throughout the show, other than fidgeting (cos the chair wasn't very comfortable, it hurts our asses), we were also peeping at these sleepers once in a while and and then we would feel like laugihng cos they really were enjoying the air-con after the hot sun burning afternoon. haha! (: nevertheless, we all enjoyed the movie more or less.
and then we went to balcony for a chill.
kilkenny for me! some cocktails for the others, and always always always thank my dearest YT for not drinking during chill sessions cos he drives. and he always make sure he don't even sip. i drank kilkenny cos i always think it'd be ok if he wants to sip, but if i were to take cocktails, hard liqour adds up to more alcoholic content. okie, he thinks it's a bad logic but nevertheless i just feel really bad he always drinks cappucino while we drink. thank u YOU. (:

ohhh!!! we met this really crazy and angry security guard at the carpark opposite to cineleisure. i saw the signboard saying that it closes at 1am. and soooo i told yingtao it's only until 1am and if the show starts later than 11pm which would definitely be the case and then we wont be able to get the car. he said it's ok la... he thinks that it would be that cars wont be able to enter the carpark but cars can still come out after 1am.. and we were about to leave the carpark when i thought it was so illogical and it's better to play safe so to 'assure' me and lao da, he said we should ask the security guard. the security guard was frantically shouting saying that we MUST leave BEFORE 1AM if not we can only collect the car at 7AM in the morning. then we thought ok, we should shift the car, and then he kept following us asking if we can please leave by 1am, and he was agitated+frantic+worried+ i also dunno what. so YT was like 'OK, WE ARE SHIFTING NOW........' oops~ funny and hilarious when i saw the security's expression followed by Yt's puzzled look. LOL! lao da and i wanted to just laugh our heads off.

and we met for lunch today at bpp, he insisted i make accomodations and comprmising to go bukit panjang plaza. fine. and so i just went there for lnch and to meet these two jewels of my heart. and well, i think everything is worth it, cos seriously, as long as they are happy, i am happy. hahaha! jovial day.

a good start of the week makes me think of the best of the week.
i'm looking forward to friday! (:
pictures to be up laterrrrr... nites!!

I'M A HAPPY GIRL.

it's been long since i last blogged, probably a week ago?
i've been really busy with my job that sometimes i forget to breathe... i'm dead serious about the fact that i love my job, the job scope, the environment, the job nature, the people, the everything. i even love doing long hours and staying back late to clear things only because i know i'm working for my passion (:
and introducing my colleagues, steph, paul, ernest and aileen, they are the ones that i work with closely day to day, fabulous people, fantastic team... they are one of the motivation that makes me look frward to work everyday.. of course all the other colleagues are just nice people that make me can't resist work.
i also don't deny the fact that it's giving a certain level of stress, but i think it's all worth it. poor friends have to get my craziness thru my on off smses... hahaha! kindly understand sometimes i don sms or reply fast enough only cos i can easily forget to breathe too!!! :P

YH told me this:

it's not what you look at, but what you see ; says:
then tell each other.
it's not what you look at, but what you see ; says:
if we cant be in a r/s. lets just be very good friends.
it's not what you look at, but what you see ; says:
since we know each other so well.
it's not what you look at, but what you see ; says:
we make good frens.
it's not what you look at, but what you see ; says:
furthermore. tell urself. be equally happy if he/she is with another person
it's not what you look at, but what you see ; says:
cos the person can love him/her more than u do.
and he/she have already moved on with her life.
it's not what you look at, but what you see ; says:
take it then, as a motivation for u to.
it's not what you look at, but what you see ; says:
cos if he/she can do it, so can you
it's not what you look at, but what you see ; says:
life is too short for us to live in unhappiness. for us to live with regrets.

it hit me even harder that i should be happy with whatever i was thinking of doing.

today i met my lovely ball ykk (:

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!! (:

some pictures to share, taken over this two weeks...

[SOMEONE WHO LIVES IN YOUR HEART]
Last night I dream that you were beside me
It seems so real that I cried
When you've touched me
You’re my angel
And you've given me wings
And I fly away with you wherever you go
Cause you filled my heart and you captured my soul
And baby i want you to know

If there's one thing in this world that I know is true
It's the love that I feel when I'm thinking of you
No ocean or mountain can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
All the hopes and the dreams are alive
I'll carry you with me through distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
And I know there's a million stars between us
But that won't stop my longing
To hold you and to kiss youHow I love you
And I'll find my way to you wherever you are
Coz you're in my soul and you've got my heart
And your love will carry me on

nice song (:

i was born the eldest, the word implies me to be someone who should be independent. and indeed, i look independent, i seem independent, and i might be really independent. and i think i am all of the above. everyone has that impression of me, and it's so prominent in me that i think it's written on my face, 'independent girl'.
today i met lao da, ying tao and qiuyan for dinner and movie... while qiuyan was on her way and yingtao was busy buying food, lao da and i were discussing how sometimes we have so many friends buy still feel lonely at times.. and then we started discussing in our own perspective how we might put off the opposite sex.
he says i don't put him off cos i come across to him with the first impression of being very sunshine and bubbly, warm and friendly... BUT... guys tend to think that i'm the outgoing independent kind, totally a best buddy, someone whom they will turn to, speak to, hang around with and i totally fit the bill to be those who drinks and watch soccer with them as a buddy. someone always game for any challenge, someone who can lend them my shoulders when they fall out of love.

and i agreed that's me.

i said i don't have the plus point, i'm not pretty. i don't have what alot of girls have.i'm not gentle. i'm loud. i'm rough and tough, at least i seem to be. and i think guys like those who has 'i need to be cared for' face to let them melt. which, i also do not have. they like girls softspoken, lady like, which i am not too.
and he tries not to agree but i know deep down that he agrees.

and then on my way home i was pondering about this 'independent' issue and felt really sad... just because i LOOK independent, everyone seems to assume i am. just because i always look so bubbly and cheerful, people think i am NEVER SAD. just because i AM independent, just because i don't look frail, i look ugily tough and rough, people do not care much about me. and really don't. i know it, i sense it.. cos it happens in my family with my family members tnking i'm superwonderwoman who knows everything, can do anything, everything. they seldom care about my thoughts or feelings, i know they are just very sure that i'm always able to cope, but sometimes, just sometimes i need a few words of care and concern.

and after the heart to heart talk with lao da just now, it makes me feel like i'm never going to get someone who would just be there for me, taking into consideration for the fact that sometimes, just sometimes, i break down too.

i'm loving my job, the people and everything about it. (:

i'm suddenly feeling so sad that this year's may, it seems all so different. previously, may i would be always planning for my darlings' birthdays.. this year, ezah is away, nothing much to plan except to plan to skype the night away with her, and xian is forever busy, not sure even if we would celebrate for her...
xia, keep ur birthday free please? (: loves.

i guess that's what people say we move on in the chapters of our lives, we don always do the same old things every year. don't we? for one point in time, it seemed to me that everyone seems to have a new direction in life, something to look forward to, something they all love to do... and i found my firection too... and i was so proud of myself to have told everyone i've started to move in a whole new direction... a whole new life..

if u were to tell me those things i heard, i'd feel so much better, so much clearer..
now, it's so confusing, i always thought i am very clear about this whole thing, but now i know i am utterly wrong, i'm still so stuck inside it all.

i want to just walk away from this whole episode, but it seems to play again and again repetitively over and over, like it is never going to end. it's like i'm forever going to act in the show, myself. myself

until you appear all over again.. each time u come into my life, it seems like u were an intruder... u never fail to make me think of things so impossible, make me think of things so ridiculous that i've started thinking when i was 18. WHY?!!??!
i wanted so much to tell myself we are just best friends, and nothing more. i want to... just leave this whole episode. really. seriously.
i dunno how many people know or don know im trapped in this whole shit, i guess most people know, and heard it all, knew it all, got tired of what i've got to say, got sick of this whole thing, and im still the only one holding on relentlessly. i made it seem like i've so moved on.. i probably did for the past few months, and gave myself freaking many different choices. but it all ended me in square one.

he told me all the things i don wan to hear, and u never did wan to say those things that i didn't want to hear from him. this time, i'm determined to walk out of this thing, so i'm not going to let it affect me more than this post.

爱爱爱爱了几回
也明白其中滋味
付出的从来不会
等于收回
我却还在等待着谁能出现

**hey friends, i just needed somewhere to vent. to ventilate. i'm probably fine after i posted this thing. soooo... don think i'm emo-ing or something.. i'm always that cheerful one. (:

愛要耐心等待仔細尋找感覺很重要
寧可空白了手等候一次真心的擁抱
我相信在〔這個〕世界上　
一定會遇到對的人出現〔在眼角〕

一直坚信的想法让我遇见了我也坚信是对的人。。。
让我痛的不是他，而是我还在坚信着。

你说 不是所有爱情
都能够酿成一首 流行歌
我说 不是所有分手
都能够再虚伪的 做朋友
反正爱情里头
谁先放弃 谁就是第三者
何必重蹈覆辙
爱已经累了 无法再负荷
你听了很多 你说了很多
你都没有错 错在我 太寂寞
谁居心叵测 谁存心搅和
不必再挑拨 我现在 只想撤
Let it go 别再说
Let it go 别挽留

我真的可以吗？ 我们真的就不可以了吗？

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIN NAN (:

joycie
friends and family make me complete.
anything with the sun and sea makes me happy
dark chocolates.sunflowers. dedicated unconditional love and care
"Yet doe I feare thy Nature, It is too full o' th' Milke of humane kindnesse."

Bachelor of social work (not an easy path but it will work out, 6/6 to go!)
Japan
Melbourne
Turkey
New Zealand
there's nothing i want more than world peace.

October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009

GR2
Jeerin.
Persis.
May.
Nelson.
yan darling.
Jenny darling.
xian darling.
xia darling.
ezah darling.
pauline.
ruey shan.
botak.
zhiyong.
eric khoo.
LohWC.
Gayathri.
Joyce Dearie.
Sister Qiz.
Sister Samantha.
Erika.
Jasmine.
Samantha.
Camen.
Belle.
Phionna.
CheryL.
Michi.
Stefanie.
Syaz.
Serve Cambodia
Serve Cambodia
Thong Kiat.
Jocelyn.
Dzul.
Kim.
JiSheng.

One More Day - Diamond Rio

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Basecodes: Xinni
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