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Friday, September 26, 2008 ' 9:37 AM


let my pictures update what has been happening in my life for this past few days...

kee and i did the retro thing - taking neoprints. haha! niceee...
don't we look like a happy lovey dovey couple? hahaha!

lovely (:

acting cute but it's niceee!


and when we meet, it's always about food, and that's really how we both became lovey dovey balls. haha!

we went soup spoon....
clam chowder
these mushrooms re lovely and yummy-licious!
the chocolate fudge melts fabulously in the mouth. yums.
and we devour them all. haha!


and then we went ichiban for sushi feast on monday...







sentosa trip last sunday with ying tao, lao da, yan, kennedy, seline and darren.




and for the million zillion times i'm going to say this, i can't do without these two men in my life (:
that's about all for now. i will have more pictures to upload soon after tomorrow because we are all going to celebrate kailin's birthday tmr evening. (:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i just reached home from dinner with lao da, nizam and yingtao. we went to bukit panjang 163 for some hawker food. it's kinda nostalgia sitting at that coffeshop because it brings back all the memories we all had during the swensens days.. and then it feels good to have the same people, having the same food, same drink, (even the fried chicken wing stall aunty remains the same), talking and chilling. nothing else except time changes and our age changes. it also fels good to know that these people stays with you, stayed with you for the past 6 yrs, and then it's even better to know that the friendship hadn't remained where it started because it progresses. our topics have changed over the years and we tolerated each other's differences and stood by each other. it's a different kind of feeling when u tap them on the shoulders giving encouragement and slamming them hard on their hands and legs when they spam you with nonsensical comments.it's what i feel from deep within, a kind of bond people from the next tables cannot understand and will curse at how freaking loud we were. our lifestyle changed over the years... we used to just hang around at the coffeeshop and then rush for the last bus.. but now we have yingtao to dive us to different hang outs and then we have a higher quality of life because we go to restaurants and cafes for coffee, tea and ice creams. and then we all take turns to pick the bill and pay the tabs. sometimes, i looked back and wondered how we became what we were now, i thank god and heavens for having them going through those thick and thin with me. and most of al, they put up with my nonsense all the times, and then i blinked and wondered if this can always continue on because i know how important these people are to me.
i didn't take alcohol and i'm not drunk. i'm not saying all these mushy stuffs because it's one of those moments. we boarded yingtao's car not knowing where he's going to drive us to, but we had this mutual trust thingy that somehow makes us know that wherever he goes, it's just going to be enjoyable, because the company counts. he drove us to daily scoop at sunset way. while sharing the waffles and tasting those weird flavours, i looked at how the three guys always argue and laughed, talked and shared, laughed and mocked, cursed and swore at one another... the ice cream tasted better than ever. the way we all could openly shoot at each other's stupidity and correct each other's wrongs didn't come overnight. and i like all these so much because everyone takes off their masks and feels real for who we are. what's most important is we just show each other the real inner you and there's just nothing to hide, there's no need to hide. and i feel more than happy and blessed to have these people, right here in my life.
thanks guys... if it weren't for your company, it wouldn't have made up for my cocked up day (:
cheerios!







♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Friday, September 19, 2008 ' 1:50 AM


i'm back!
it's been busy for me and i haven got time for myself at all.
and then i fell sickand now i'm on mc... and yes, thats when i have time for some me-time.
i know working life is like that, so i won't grumble much anymore...
sighs.

i hit the gym today, and i feel great!!!!!
(i feel good...... garfield's tune!)
hitting the threadmill, pumping those irons clear my mind and put my mind off everything else..
it feels good to be just exercising and passing some me-time, letting the brain rest for an hour.
these days, i've been thinking alot on my future, my career, what i want to do, what i really like and what are things i should try...
and then the list went on and on when i started thinking of things i should try.
and then slowly i strike them off and then new things just come up..
i might be thinking too much but, i guess this is what we do at this age.
neither are we mature adults nor teenagers anymore..
we are at this point where we face multiple crossroads don't we?

here i am, dedicating my time, love and energy to what i call my 'passion' but on the ither hand, i'm losing alot alot of things because of my passion, and i'm weighing the opportunity cost of me dedicating to my passion... sometimes i wonder, if i weren't in this line, and if i were a sales person, how my life would be?
i would earn more, much more than what i have now, and i would be always on the run, and not desk bound.. but will i be happy? i don't know.
what if i were a retail girl? i would be standing for long hrs, meeting all sorts of people and dealing with nasty customers... i would talk all day and no one would care, but i would get my commission, and still i will still earn much more than what i have now. but would i be happy? i don't know too..
if i were to join a bank as a financial planner, i would pester my friends to buy plans and make sure in time to come, everyone would be avoiding me, but i would earn much more wouldnt i? yes of cos, but would i be happy?? i still dont know.

what am i trying to say?
i'm trying to say that i'm so scared i lose passion in what i am doing... suddenly things turned mechanical and technical and it becomes a routine. things dont come right from the heart anymore, and i am not dedicating fully into what i am doing. it's become a job instead of a passion i used to think of it as. i'm so afraid i lose that touch and i don know how i can regain the touch with such busy schedules. everyday is soooo busy that at the end of the day, u forgot what u did earlier on and before u know anything, the day is over. this thing is daunting on me alot and because i feel that i'm losing this human touch, i'm pondering if i should take a little break from it and think through things. i don wan to be 'helping' and 'reaching' out like a 'robot'.
i dunno if anyone would know what i am saying, but i guess these are things and reflections that i have to go and sort it out myself.

all in all, i'm a confused lady who's standing at crossroads now.

anyway, i'm so missing so many people. sorry i haven got time to meet.
ezah!!! skype soon. i need to talk to u and i need ur support!!! :)
xia!! if we could meet soon, i'll be pouring so much to you. misses.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Sunday, September 14, 2008 ' 8:54 AM


reflected, reflections.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Monday, September 08, 2008 ' 8:40 AM


major turning points in life.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Thursday, September 04, 2008 ' 8:23 AM


although working means alot to me and it's more than meaningful to life,
i'm starting to feel no life.
i'm aching all over now from shoulders to feet, but i'm loving it...
it makes me feel worked out and thrashed.
i need some serious me-time to chill and think of things that are neglected and left right at the back of my mind.
there are things needed to be sorted out and i just refuse to face it, and what more, i think i'm just someone who loves hiding into my comfy zone when i see a bomb. coward joyce!
whatever it is, there are so many things in life i need to put into place.
i'm going to swim, and i wan to swim till my arms feel heavy and my mind goes numb.
i guess that's the best way to relax now. :)

sab! i miss u like crazy! when will we meet??? loves.
lixia, i miss u! ezah, i miss u! thanks for the hugs. u're loved and missed. :)
thanks persis! loves.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Wednesday, September 03, 2008 ' 2:22 AM


i want chocolates.
i NEED chocolates.
i badly need a sweet fix, NOW.

i want ice cream.
iNEED ice cream..
i seriously need super sweet fix NOW.

maybe i just need a hug.
i'm stressed out. :(


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Monday, September 01, 2008 ' 6:25 AM


peekaboo!!!
it was BAD monday blues for me. i felt so down so blue so moody right at the moment when i opened my eyes. it must be the aftermath of too much joys and laughters over the weekend. but it went off after a while i guessed? but i still felt really moody during lunchtime.
i couldn't wait for the clock to ctrike 5.25pm so that i can dash out of the office. and i did.
i did a little shopping, had a little me time beofre i met cousins for badminton.
my legs are aching slightly from the dashing on threadmill yesterday but i'm feeling energetic and i love to perspire and feel the heat emitting off the body. it feels really good.
after exercising, i just cannot help but sing it out loud, 'i feel good!!!' (if u know the tune and melody from the garfield) hahahaha.
and i'm gonna hit the gym after work tmr.

have i turned into some exercise freak or health freak? in a way, yes but in another way, no. i just feel good when i ache all over and fall asleep the moment i lie down. and i'm rather motivated to train well for the standard chartered run, it would be my first 10km!

sometimes i wonder, would i be a better person where people can accept me better if i were slimmer? prettier? if i weren't a poke face, would i be much more acceptable? if i weren't fat like what i am, would i then be a better person? and if i don have ugly teeth and could smile sweeter, then i would be seen? someone told me today that looks are VERY IMPORTANT these days. no one look into our hearts and know who we really are. they believe what their eyes see, and we tend to judge from first impression. i did give the statement some thoughts and felt it's quite true to a certain extent.
but wouldn't there be just ONE EXCEPTION, just ONE someone who would see just another ONE beyond their looks, and look into the heart and see what's true? i have faith that there are people who gofor what's true and real. i go for what is REAL.

life's getting so stagnant it's boring. bring me some spices please? haha.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.







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