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Tuesday, October 30, 2007 ' 10:17 AM


it's the 3rd anniversary today... i miss you. we miss you... (:
nice gathering with the family. i love them.

today is a full of emotions day. right from the start of the day. hahas!
but i guess some things just have to happen at some point of time.
and i got a good.bad news from bestie that she's gonna leav for melbourne in feb for a good 4years. congrats!!!
like i mentioned, dunno to be happy or sad! happy cos u got it, sad cos it's gonna be FOUR YEARS!!! hahahs.. but well, it's ok... my holiday plans shall be melbourne at least once a year in melbourne. hees (:

let pictures do the talking:


my nieces! i love them to bits and pieces!! (:
they know i love them. jeerin, ying ying. (THANKS for breakfast dear. muacks)

the neoprint. ah kee and me! (: I LIKE YOU, JUST LIKE I LIKE TEXTURES!
the chill (: where's eric?



nice dinner with ezah and xia darls.. LOVES. (: more of it before feb comes ya?
nites.

what's the kind of feeling, unspoken, but deeply felt?


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Monday, October 29, 2007 ' 7:44 AM


i HATE changes!
i HATE people talking at my back!

thank goodness u hate me just like i do!!!!

sorry lixia darling, sorry qin.. really sorry about the changes. :(

arghs!!!!!!!!!
im like a balloon exploding into the thin air now.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Wednesday, October 24, 2007 ' 8:58 AM


i had a bad day in school. that tyrant woman who threatened to put us out of class next week, and that same tyrant woman who had inevitably made my day feeling so shagged and cracked every brain cells in me, and made me went into palpitation state. yes, that RM (rETAIL MANAGEMENT TUTOR who announced that her module has FOUR FREAKING ROADSHOWS, which the first one starts in less than a month!
THAT FOUR FREAKING ROADSHOWS only constitute to 30% of the whole module, her lectures has impromptu quizes, and he tutorials are expected with FULL PARTICIPATION to get the 10%, and please drop ur name on the foolscap pasted on the classroom door, IF YOU think you have contributed much in the class (if u think u've spoken a line or two, drop it, dun put ur name, cos she's just testing ur HONESTY and INTEGRITY. leave ur name only if u have spoken for more than TEN lines to be considered participated in her class)
grrrrr. ROARS.
and i thought she was good. i thought. i hope it's just gonna be the first tutorial that she does this, if not, i will just die of heart attacks. seriously.

hmm, on my way to work, the journey with ah kee, we counted, and decided to draw a time schedule. cos... there's like 1 IEMP project that's JUST LIKE integrated proj from last sem, 1 IF project which the tutor hasnt come out with the format and questions!, 1 CCM project, 3 WISP projects, 3 Franchising Projects. and a plentiful of INDIVIDUAL assignments.
now who's gonna emphathise with us? :(
i love ah kee for her company, and all the lunches and hang outs and all the all the all the...
do u want some buttered corn my lovely? HAHAHAS (:

school is good with the right people. (:
nites.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Sunday, October 21, 2007 ' 7:11 AM


"It’s undeniable that we should be together
It’s unbelievable, how I used to say that I’d fall never
The basis is need to know
If you just don’t know how I feel
Then let me show you that now I’m for real
If all the things in time, time will reveal
Yeah

one, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That you’re the only one for me and
Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me

If ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start back at one(yeah)
It’s so incredible, the way things work themselves out
And all emotional, once you know what it’s all about, heyAnd undesirable, for us to be apart
I never would’ve made it very far’cause you know you got the keys to my heart’cause...

Say farewell to the dark of night
I see the coming of the sun
I feel like a little child, whose life has just begun
You came and breathed new life into this lonely heart of mine
You threw out the life line
Just in the nick of time"

the one song that fills my mind now. (:

Brandon's party was fun, and we got pulled upstage to play a game, we won! haha! but considering the fact that our 'competitors' were all LITTLE KIDS, those m&m's were a fabulous prize, BUT, ezah's got it all... it's PEANUT M&M'S. i think i'm more than grateful to know that i'm TRULY allergic to NUTS. with the diagnosis of the doctor, it's more than confirmed. the ulcers keep loving me for this reason... that i always accidentally take nuts. i hate them to begin with, so i'm more than fine to avoid them. hee (:

he can be the sweetest thing that can ever happen in my life... with the most charming smile i've ever seen, the most fantastic build i've ever ogled at, and the most respectful gentlemen i ever met. the one that makes me smile so uncontrollably. (:
yes, you.



♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Friday, October 19, 2007 ' 9:39 AM


i had a bad day. really bad day.
ulcers are killing me, seriously killing and ngawing at every part of my mouth... they love me, but i do not reciprocate. i hate them!

how i wished there is 50hrs in a day. then i can make plans properly. then i can work, and school and teach tuition and meet friends and meet people who loves making impromptu decisions.
i think i pissed everyone around me today. or rather, i'm pissed by i dunno what reason. i'm like a time bomb, anytime, i go into explosion mode. sorry. :(

you sent a text saying to meet for movie without prior notice, i had to reject cos i had to work. and you sent a really explosive msg that made my mood went down down and down. i din just rejected u, i rejected everyone else too. and what more? u said i left u with no choice, made you cancelled two programmes just to spend time with me and then i went to work, what's like the worst thing in the msg was.... u actually assumed i went to meet my friends, or meet some other randoms and jolly cooked up the 'excuse' of gotta work. heys, i feel equally bad for always having to reject you.
i know u have no choice but to make impromptu decisions, yes, NS made it so impossible for something to be well planned, but i really didn't know we will be meeting.
i guess this is what many people rant about: commitment.

and then he had to be pissed and make me pissed with the kind of smses he sent. he tected to ask if i'm free tomorrow. i have to attend brandon's 21st bday party in the evening, so i said we can meet at night. he texted back saying then nvm tot of asking u for lunch. (when he knows i work 8-6 every sat!) then i asked sunday, he said he's not free. and he suggested tmr night for dinner, WHEN I ALREADY TOLD HIM I'M GOING TO BRANDON'S PARTY. so i said ok, 8plus, and he replied with NAH. hello brother, i know u just booked out and u're optimising time, i'm also more than happy for the msg u sent cos it seemed u sent it right before u booked out at 10plus... glad u bothered to do so, and yes, NS made is even more difficult for a planned date. im sorry with the cold replies cos i din wan to explode, especially to you.

i rejected Venecia as well, and i rejected many others today. i'm sincerely sorry.

then nizam was kinda angry with me cos he ALSO PRESUMED that i had plans with lao da after making plans with him. i did not!

i think, im the one who's explosive, not everyone else. sorry.
nites. i guess ulcers are affecting every part of me, including: TEMPERAMENTS.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Tuesday, October 16, 2007 ' 8:19 AM


second day of school.. IF was predictably indigestable. bad for the stomach.. very bad.. hahas.. i must say the lecturer is really nice, and he emphasized it's a small group so it's really flexible.. let's hope so, really. cos IF is like a few times more 'chim' than IEF. so..... i think this is something i wont miss...

i've decided to give IBS a miss tmr.. ulcers love me. i dunno why buy i'm having a zillion ulcers now. :( it always happen, and yes, i dunno why.

the weather has been really bad these days.. i was at the bus stop alone just now, it was so dark, it was pouring, it was so cold, the mp3 was playing 'show me the meaning of being lonely', my favourite song to play when it's a rainy day, but this time, i didn't purposely fwd or rewind to that song, it just happened to be playing... and yes, it just never fails to make me feel blue. not exactly emo, just feeling the blues....
some things ran through my mind, some people came to my mind, some memories came by too..
i picked up my phone to text, not expecting a reply but hoping my text was sent and received. why are some things just so difficult to shake off? much as i want to, and much as i think i HAD gotten over it, it seems to prove to me that it is still there, right in the core of my mind.
so many times, i thought it's over, and then next i realised it's not. i dunno how u feel, but it seriously doesnt appeal to me that way. it's not hurting, it's just not working out. for many many other reasons other than the drifting away. i just hope i dont become wishy washy all over again. though u assured it's not one sided, i cannot help but feel it is. well, some things, if not meant to be, will never be. on the optimistic side, what is meant to be, will be. take care, i hope the weather is not making things tougher for you. :)

thong kiat sms-ed. yes, thong kiat. HAHAS. still as joker, but think he's changed. hahas, yes i know i cannot judge much from the sms-es, but he sounded more mature. aiya, everyone's turning 21. can say OLD already, so let alone being matured. anyway we made plans for some 'la kopi' session when NS allows him to, then there can be some catching ups. hmm, lately, im so missing all the sec sch people. i think i really want to do lots of catching ups!!! (:
those were the days........ we were childish, but it was all fun, fun and more fun.

last semester of poly will also be loads of fun. i hope. i just sincerely hope for a normal project group, not greedy to expecting anything nicer than my toes, but i wouldnt mind if there are as nice and fun group of people. but im contented with just normal people whom i can hang ard with, and work well with. now that im away from the toes, it makes me happy just to be able to see them for a few minutes a day. loves. (:

im eating too much i need exercise!


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Monday, October 15, 2007 ' 7:05 AM


first day of school was great... i thinki love CCM, and yupps, ah kee is right... it's the lecturere that mattesrs. (: the lecturere was entertaining, and what's the good news?? CCM-cross cultural management is a non examinable module! HAHA!! i think i'm starting to love the choice i made, IB-international business. (:

IEMP - international employment is a HEAVY module, and that means it's an examinable module... the contents and the finals weightage is like REALLY CONCENTRATED. our brains have probably turned rusty over the nua-ing at home for good 7weeks, cos we find it hard to digest what ms jac fong is trying to teach. LOLS!

it's good to see the toes again! thanks erika for the green g-string for Australia! (:

hmmm, international finance tmr, i think i should expect another totally non-digestable module that's bad for the stomach. hahahas! i think i'm loving school, anyways it's last semester already.

nites.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Saturday, October 13, 2007 ' 6:36 AM


OMG. I FREAKING HATE WINDOWS LIVE MESSENGER!!!! like to the CORE!
i dunno what's the problem.. it jams, it lags, i just don seem to be able to use the msn at all!!!! if there's two person trying to talk to me at the same time, the whole thing goes haywire. if someone signs in while im talking it lags big time.... i SERIOUSLY got NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO THE LIVE MESSENGER.
i never really liked msn live and i used to stick to version 7.5 until those stupid msn people made me, forced me to install this live.. and FANTASTIC, i dun seems to be able to talk properly to people at all, and i ended up NOT USING MSN AT ALL!!! TSK!!!!!!
someone who might know why is it like that, please let me know? Thanks..
and i'm using the ancient version of WINDOWS MESSENGER, those with no display pic kind? anyone remembers? hahhas! well, at least it's functioning well...

selamat hari raya to all malay friends! (:
food at ezah's place makes me full and never fails to make me drool, till now. heh..
and i like the cookies girl! hahahas! as usual... im sucha glutton.
starbucks with chin nan and lao da was great, stupid yingtao put paper aeroplane, he was so tired he dozed off and we were right about his absence.. i think he's just really tired.. and of cos, i wont blame him, for this once. hahahas. rest well mr officer! misses. (:

mum's birthday tomorrow, so it was dinner at cineleisure xing wang cafe just now..
filling, and yupps, i ate alot again today! but it's ok! it's a blessing to have food to eat~
hmmm, i gotta work tmr morning from 930am to 6pm... the only thing that's gonna make the day brighter will be angeline... im just too tired to move my ass...

school's starting soon on monday.. a moment ago, i was dreading the long and endless holidays, now im hating it for coming to an end cos i haven got chance to go shopping with ah kee for our wanted adidas bag, stationery... and we haven swim for some time, and we haven bake as planned. and it's gonna make things worser that i say i have people i really dislike in my next sem's class.
i think i will have to learn to put up some front... it's not that im not capable of it, i just don really like to fake those smiles everyday, for a WHOLE SEMESTER. sighs~
and i can only sigh... what else can i do right? thank goodness ah kee will just be there for me most of the times, and i hope i see the toes in lectures. (:

hmm, didn't get to meet xia last and last last week... i hope for some dinner and catch ups next week... misses girl.
and sorry to the girls (yan, xian, kailin and jenny), i didnt make it for dinner and drinks that day, was really too tired..
take care girls.

i'm losing grip to the sand i held tightly with my hands. it's hurting me and i've got grazed palms by now. the wound would heal, and dry and scrape, like any grazed knees.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Monday, October 08, 2007 ' 9:59 AM


had a date with angeline and jasmine. HAHA! we had a lovely great laugh at sketches over dinner. actual plan was to do some shopping cos angeline wanted to buy skirts, jas and i wanted shorts..... BUT, we just settled for dinner... our pasta was designed and tasted really great.. the tokyo delight pizza was yummy too... and then it's fish and chips, not bad too. but best of all is the waffles surprise with macadamia nut and chocolate ice creams. altogether with juicy and yummy-licious jokes and some gossips about their attachment places... and then some insights on mother-in-laws.... all in all, i like. (:

pictures are with dearest jasmine, so..... i only got one poorest quality of all one, and the waffles...



lunch was with mei at kovan's xing wang cafe... it's NICE!! the dessert was nice too.. some.. i dunno what also.. the waitress recommended us that..



and yEs i know im eating TOO MUCH... overloading.. but well, like kim taught me... to have food to eat is a great blessing. (that's self comforting. HAHA!) (:
i think i'm so overwhelmed with u in mind that i've lost part of myself when i'm alone... it's like i'm alone and i'm in some me-time sessions but it's not??? and i start to feel so dumb, perhaps feeling it's really no point anymore, or no point at all... u're starting to become an imaginary person more than in real. like an imagery, someone imaginery and doesn't exist. and that starts to freak me and my thoughts. there's no one fine day i could live on without ur name sounding, or ur image appearing.. there's no one fine day where u don't exist. either people asked about you, or i had to think of u. isn't that scary? and yes, i hate you for all these.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Sunday, October 07, 2007 ' 7:09 PM


now... im simply rotting at home, thinking of what i should do... how irritating. one moment there's a zillion things u needa do, then the next moment, it's like emptiness...
i think it's time to reflect on things i did, things i said, things that i planned to do and all.. i think i'm quite dumb to always be so soft hearted!
a leopard never changes its spots, a bi*ch never changes her attitude. why is she always like that?? she's making me wonder very much how i am gonna survive my coming semester.. how dumb i was to choose the same class as her?! how dumb can i get?? how much dumber i should act?! ROARS!!!
i try to be nice but all i get is like crap. please give urself some integrity for people to believe u're not a bi*ch!
sorry i had to get this outta my chest.

hmmm, im looking forward to this week very much... meet ups with ezah, xia, huiqi, yvette maybe?, my girls (yan,xian,jen) maybe?, yingtao, laoda (maybe)... it's gonna be a great week! (:

mails from china makes me laugh, makes me smile. the people there also will make me smile when they are back.. zhihua!!!! jieying!!! yuhong!!! we're waiting...
yuhong, if u get to see this post right, hahahas.. i lost my portable street directory.. and maybe u can cargo some tang yuan over for me? hees.
i miss this bunch of people loads. but ah kee will make me smile more for the moment, and we'll smile alotalot when u all come back. (:

LUCKILY, i've got ah kee with me next sem, if not i can just go bang myself and die. and i will miss my TOES. ):

yingtao, u really should just come back please and take WHAT BELONGS TO YOU!!! and then i will live in peace happily ever after! and bring me some prince charming from OCS! i just hate you and your confinement! like, SERIOUSLY! ):

im missing everyone.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Thursday, October 04, 2007 ' 10:02 AM


good day (:
the word good sums up everything.
mood is good, fay is good, day is good, and mood is good! (: hahhas!
ezah and i took our first aid cert, signd up as first aid volunteer and got stunt by an impromptu interview, we went separate ways shortly after meeting up cos off i went to meet ah kee for some sentosa-ing. lovely. (:

some pics:

we obviously love those colors don't we?
super dog's hotdogs after sentosa were satisfying.
the vintage tram.
as the name suggests.


lovely.




that's kim and me. recently taken (:



♥dedicated compassion and loves.



Monday, October 01, 2007 ' 6:31 AM


new blogskin. i like it. (: i guess it speaks alot from the title of the blog to the picture hosted to the taglines. "make poverty history"... it speaks of what i want to say the most, it speaks of everything i yearned for, and i browsed thru imeem and heard this piece of music, simultaneously, they make a heart-pinching, heart-wrenching effect on me.

it reminds me of, cambodia.. somehow, it just did.


♥dedicated compassion and loves.







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