Tuesday, June 19, 2007 ' 4:22 AM
DON'T ever, EVER! MENTION FAMILY IN FRONT OF ME.
I HAVE NONE.
THANKS.
define the word FAMILY first before talking to me about that.
quoted from dictionary.com, family says,
1.parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not.
now, see the word parents? it is plural, my case: it is SUPPOSED TO BE singular(that's presumably better than none) but anyway, i've come to realise maybe i don't even have singular form. perhaps, i have none. it's so stark on me that she has no eyes for me. so, for the first part of that definition there, it shows that i don't have a family.
more proof? ohh... definitely. CONSIDERED AS A GROUP. there's a group in this house, but i'm definitely NOT CONSIDERED as part of the group.
whether dwelling together or not: yes we are dwelling together, but i've already fallen out of the category from the initial parts of the definition.
so people, if i ever have a family, that is, IF I EVER HAD ONE, it was IN THE PAST. the memories are so vague i cannot remember anymore. who should care at all? all i remember now is that i used to have someone so firm to be always there for me. USED TO, not anymore. tell me, who should i turn to when i needed to share something, joyous or sad, serious or random. who has eyes for me like he does? no one. not anymore.
i dunno why am i giving it such a big damn. maybe i should just leave no mind and heart to this at all. i have no eyes for anyone who have no eyes for me!
she WILL REGRET IT. she will!
don't get affected by my post, cos i'm the only affected party in this case. people might feel that i'm some jealous elder sister, but no one ever understands the being-bypassed-feeling. thank you.
on a lighter note, the tummy is slightly better already. but still, it's like a machine is so old to move and whenever there's workload, it croaks. thanks zixian for the medicine, i think it helps, but still, the stomach is churning. i think it will be ok soon. (: thanks everyone for the concern.
i think i need some retail therapy, some healings, some... i don't know. maybe ice cream can help freeze and numb the feelings for a while.
-should i, shouldn't i? tell me.
♥dedicated compassion and loves.
